thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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