There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
