Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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