My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
