No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
