Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
