Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
