You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
