But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
