i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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