Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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