.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
