He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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