Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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