Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
