would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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