We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
