Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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