I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
