I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This baby is an asshole
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
