How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't turn off my feet"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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