so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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