He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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