she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
