and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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