It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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