Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
