Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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