so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize