I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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