I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
