I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
