I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We are two peas in an std pod
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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