I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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