So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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