Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
