he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
