oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
