If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
