The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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