im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Operation Purity has been aborted
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
