By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
