honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
