the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
