Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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