Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
even my farts smell like vagina
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
