So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
