im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
