I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
