will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
